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Think about it from my point of view, I live, work, eat, sleep, socialise (and fuck it, shag too, as thats all we're about here) at PGL. My life REVOLVES around PGL. Everything I speak about has something to do with it, of course I didn't speak about anything else! What else have I to speak about? You try being institutionalized and then finding a topic that doesn't involve that institution. You try making friends who you see all day every day, who you work with, live with, and everything else with and trying to tell you something about your life that doesn't include them. I missed pgl like fuck, it's a completely different lifestyle that you could not understand and would not try to understand. I felt like a complete and utter stranger. You guys have forgotten me even, as petty as it sounds, one of you even turned around and asked if I liked Lazytown, ffs I'm meant to have been your friend for that long yet you don't remember that, how could I not like it, it was all you ever went on about.
Not miss you? I called you all at least once a fucking week since I got here. You never returned me that favour. Not once. I fucking NEEDED you all through August, all the past month, yet you never bothered to even text me to say "We're busy". Once, yes one measly time, you answered and said you'd call back another day (Lauren and Kathryn, this was you going to Rikki's video game night thing, remember that? I do, last time I spoke to either of you), and you didn't. My so-called best fucking friend contacted me once whilst she was at Reading, the minute I told her it was me she didn't get in contact again, said she would, but she didn't. It feels nice to be blatantly ignored. I needed people I could trust to speak to, people not in the situation, the few ties holding me to my 'home'town, and you all just stopped talking to me. If I hadn't have posted the post, how long would it have been before you remembered me? It'd been two months already, so maybe three? Four?
Over the past year you've only replied to two of my posts I believe. This one, and remember when I posted that huge long post and right at the end I had one line asking if you would visit? You defended yourself so valiantly, until I pointed out that you'd travelled gods know how long on a coach to Canterbury to see one of your friends, why couldn't you do the same for another. All I'd anted was a simple yes/no answer, not a fucking huge long reasoning as to why, because your excuses mean shit to me. No money? I earn £80 a WEEK. You earn that in a couple of days? No time? I have one day off a week. I work more hours than you all do together probably but I still find time for people who mean something to me. I didn't care that you couldn't come visit, what pissed me off was the fact that you kept making stupid excuses.
Now onto Kathryn's little comment here. A bit rubbish? More like shit tbh. Hurt that YOU were replaced? Er excuse me! Who's replacing who here? The minute I leave Hannah becomes your new best mate. I sat there listening to you for hours, you never spoke about current goings on, you spoke about lazytown, boosh, general stuff that is general conversation, I did ask you all how you were, how uni was and got responses, that was that, you can't say I wasn't interested. I've made lifelong friends here, just like I thought I had in you lot, but I didn't.
One thing I remember from nights out with you was that you always called Sarah and Jamie, you never did anything like that to me when I left? It's quite obvious that you categorise your friends, I'm not naive and know I'm not considered that important. You all say that you have time for me, but you don't. I was the only person making an effort in staying in contact, and I pretty much gave up a while ago.
Have good lives, maybe I'll see you again, but I doubt it, I'm not staying in the UK for much longer. Goodbye.
Not miss you? I called you all at least once a fucking week since I got here. You never returned me that favour. Not once. I fucking NEEDED you all through August, all the past month, yet you never bothered to even text me to say "We're busy". Once, yes one measly time, you answered and said you'd call back another day (Lauren and Kathryn, this was you going to Rikki's video game night thing, remember that? I do, last time I spoke to either of you), and you didn't. My so-called best fucking friend contacted me once whilst she was at Reading, the minute I told her it was me she didn't get in contact again, said she would, but she didn't. It feels nice to be blatantly ignored. I needed people I could trust to speak to, people not in the situation, the few ties holding me to my 'home'town, and you all just stopped talking to me. If I hadn't have posted the post, how long would it have been before you remembered me? It'd been two months already, so maybe three? Four?
Over the past year you've only replied to two of my posts I believe. This one, and remember when I posted that huge long post and right at the end I had one line asking if you would visit? You defended yourself so valiantly, until I pointed out that you'd travelled gods know how long on a coach to Canterbury to see one of your friends, why couldn't you do the same for another. All I'd anted was a simple yes/no answer, not a fucking huge long reasoning as to why, because your excuses mean shit to me. No money? I earn £80 a WEEK. You earn that in a couple of days? No time? I have one day off a week. I work more hours than you all do together probably but I still find time for people who mean something to me. I didn't care that you couldn't come visit, what pissed me off was the fact that you kept making stupid excuses.
Now onto Kathryn's little comment here. A bit rubbish? More like shit tbh. Hurt that YOU were replaced? Er excuse me! Who's replacing who here? The minute I leave Hannah becomes your new best mate. I sat there listening to you for hours, you never spoke about current goings on, you spoke about lazytown, boosh, general stuff that is general conversation, I did ask you all how you were, how uni was and got responses, that was that, you can't say I wasn't interested. I've made lifelong friends here, just like I thought I had in you lot, but I didn't.
One thing I remember from nights out with you was that you always called Sarah and Jamie, you never did anything like that to me when I left? It's quite obvious that you categorise your friends, I'm not naive and know I'm not considered that important. You all say that you have time for me, but you don't. I was the only person making an effort in staying in contact, and I pretty much gave up a while ago.
Have good lives, maybe I'll see you again, but I doubt it, I'm not staying in the UK for much longer. Goodbye.
